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06 May 2010 @ 08:39 pm
"...babe this wouldn't be the first time, it will not be the last time..."  
It's over almost as fast as it started, and for a pretty good reason, I'd say. Yes, I'm talking about Casey and I [this is where most of my friends roll their eyes and facepalm]. Today I talked with Kyle, of whom I basically broke his heart by not agreeing to sleep with him. I told Casey about this and he actually asked me why I didn't sleep with Kyle, to which I replied "Because you're my boyfriend." He pretty much told me we were in an open relationship after that and that's when I got the nerve to say "Look, I love you but I can't do this. I need commitment." and he just said, "Fine. We can just be friends for now." In all honesty, we all knew the end was near. Casey and I don't have the best track record of staying together, but I thought we'd work this time; he told me he wanted me to fix him but in the end I honestly feel as if he just wanted me to be around when it was convenient for him to have a girlfriend, and I'm worth and deserve so much more than that.
Now I'm doing me. Staying single for a good long time, going back to college, getting my driver's license, hanging with friends. Just living life to the fullest with no attachments to anyone except the people I know actually want me around. Casey actually said I was smothering him and, honest to God, I barely talked to him at all. I was pretty much letting him text me first and he was always the one to call me at night, so if that's smothering I wonder what his definition of "abandonment" is.

I can't fix you if you really don't want to be fixed
Or are you just looking for someone to get a fix from?
I'm not your go-to girl
I have more feelings than you'll ever know
And tonight
Tonight I'm going to let them show

^_^ Potential new song? :)

And this is the way that I state my independence <3
I'm feeling: determineddetermined
You should check out: incubus_oil & water